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Off-topic > Jokes!

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    Computer Nerd/Hacker jokes, pick up lines, humor, etc............. GO!

    P.s. No gamer jokes
Viewing 10 replies - 11 through 20 (of 38 total)
  • TaaRt
    TaaRt's profile picture

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    "I dislike people who quote themselves" - TaaRt
  • [deleted user]

  • jayssj11
    jayssj11's profile picture

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    rock catchphrases . i love them
    JAYSSJ11- "I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not."
  • Voorm
    Voorm's profile picture

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    errors everywhere, the ship is going down. run for your lives!!!!
    I'm not hacker,but i'm sexy.
    Never visit,or will be disappoint with me.
  • freewind1012
    freewind1012's profile picture

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    I love this xkcd although I can't get some jokes. xD
  • [deleted user]

  • kapuccino
    kapuccino's profile picture

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    LOL. These ones are really funny. :v
  • MaxLockhart
    MaxLockhart's profile picture

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    The ones from Stackoverflow I found hilarious!

    1. Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
        A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
    2. A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
    3. Saying that Java is nice because it works on every OS is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on every gender.
    4. Q: how many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
        A: none, that's a hardware problem
    5. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
    6. ["hip","hip"]
    7. Software is like sex: It's better when it's free. (Linus Torvalds)
    8. A guy is standing on the corner of the street smoking one cigarette after another. A lady walking by notices him and says
    "Hey, don't you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn't you see the giant warning on the box?!"
    "That's OK" says the guy, puffing casually "I'm a computer programmer"
    "So? What's that got to do with anything?"
    "We don't care about warnings. We only care about errors."
    9. Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
    Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, “I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.”
    “Very well,” says God, “let us see if Jesus has fared any better.”
    Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
    Satan is astonished. He stutters, “B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact! How did he do it?”
    God chuckles, “Everybody knows… Jesus saves.”
    Why programmers like UNIX:
    unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep

    and this fucking AMAZING meme had me laughing so fucking hard! YryhF.jpg
    That's some cheeky shit right there....
  • MaxLockhart
    MaxLockhart's profile picture

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    TaaRt and @crypticvoid ...

    TaaRt, I just realized that I reposted your joke lol. That was hilarious though. I didn't get it at first and then I was ohhh octal/decimal october/december... haha their abbreviations are the same XD :P lol

    crypticvoid..... you're just mean lol That's funny though. I think all programming languages are good for their own thing. That's a given. Just think that it's better the more you know. I'm learning assembly right now and it's.... weird/fun.
  • [deleted user]

    It ain't my fault the boss doesn't know much about computer games, lol.
Viewing 10 replies - 11 through 20 (of 38 total)